Chapter 11 - HELENA’S FIRST WAR
Helena did not deny being Shadow.
She simply asked:
“Who told you?”
“Victor.”
“Then he’s finally grown tired of breathing.”
Sebastian stood across from her in the drawing room.
Chad remained near the door.
He had not looked at his mother for several minutes.
“When?” Sebastian asked.
Helena removed one pearl earring.
“Before Paolo.”
“Why?”
“Because Vittorio’s father chose me.”
“You were what? Twenty?”
“Twenty-three.”
“Why you?”
“Because men never look closely at women they think exist only to marry them.”
Sebastian almost smiled.
Fair.
“What did Shadow mean then?”
“Watch the family.”
“For threats?”
“For patterns.”
“Then Paolo?”
“I chose him.”
Chad looked up.
“You chose Dad as Shadow.”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“Because he was the first man I trusted more than myself.”
Pain crossed her face.
Real.
“Vittorio discovered us.”
Sebastian stared.
“He knew Paolo was Shadow?”
“Yes.”
“That is why Paolo died.”
“I believe so.”
“Believe.”
Helena looked at him.
“I did not see the order given.”
Sebastian respected the distinction.
It did not change the likely truth.
“Why didn’t you kill Vittorio?”
“I tried.”
Silence.
Sebastian studied her.
Helena continued:
“Paolo stopped me.”
“Why?”
“He said if I killed Vittorio, you would kill Chad.”
Chad went completely still.
Sebastian looked at him.
“You were ten.”
Helena nodded.
“Vittorio had already taught you that betrayal traveled through blood.”
Sebastian felt shame.
At twenty-six, newly rising, he had believed that.
If Paolo had murdered his father, Sebastian probably would have punished Paolo’s branch.
Maybe not Chad.
He wanted to believe not.
He could not promise.
Helena continued:
“So we waited.”
“Then Paolo died.”
“Yes.”
“And you blamed Vittorio.”
“Yes.”
“And me.”
She met his eyes.
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“Because you became him.”
The words came without cruelty.
That made them worse.
Chad looked between them.
Helena continued:
“You took the same chair.”
“You used the same men.”
“You taught the same fear.”
Sebastian thought of Leo.
“I changed.”
“After Adrian.”
“No.”
“Because of Adrian?”
Sebastian did not answer.
Helena saw enough.
“Then Rocco?”
“He approached me after Paolo died.”
“As new Shadow?”
“Yes.”
“You trusted him.”
“For years.”
“Then?”
“He began believing the Table itself was evil.”
“Isn’t it?”
“Yes.”
She surprised him.
“But Rocco decided people were acceptable losses if their suffering destroyed the system.”
Leo.
Adrian.
Nicholas.
Chad.
Everyone tools.
“Adrian discovered that?”
“Yes.”
“Why didn’t you help Adrian?”
Helena looked toward Chad.
“Because Adrian was going to expose everything.”
Including Chad’s meetings.
Her branch.
Her past.
She chose her son again.
Sebastian understood the instinct.
Not the choice.
“He came to you first?”
“Yes.”
“And you told him?”
“To stop.”
“He didn’t.”
“No.”
“Then you helped condemn him.”
Helena closed her eyes.
“Yes.”
Chad stared.
“You knew he wasn’t a traitor.”
“I knew he wasn’t responsible for the river yard.”
Chad stepped away as if his mother smelled different.
“You let us bury him.”
“I thought Rocco would let him disappear.”
Sebastian laughed bitterly.
Everyone had trusted one more dangerous man because confronting the truth cost too much.
“Why threaten Leo now?”
Helena’s face cracked.
“I heard Rocco was back.”
“So?”
“I thought he would come for Leo.”
“Why not tell me?”
“Because I did not know if you were still Vittorio.”
Sebastian said nothing.
“Chad had been talking about succession. Leo was being discussed by old men as if he were already a future boss.”
Her voice sharpened.
“I wanted him away.”
“You could have taken him somewhere safe.”
“Would you have allowed it?”
Sebastian almost said yes.
Then stopped.
No.
Not without explanation.
Helena saw.
“That is why.”
Sebastian sat.
For several seconds neither spoke.
Then Chad said:
“Dad died because of this.”
Helena looked at him.
“Yes.”
“And you turned me into another version of it.”
She flinched.
“You told me the Morettis stole from us.”
“They did.”
“You told me fear keeps men from taking what belongs to you.”
Helena said nothing.
“You taught me exactly what Sebastian taught everyone else.”
She closed her eyes.
“Yes.”
Chad’s voice broke slightly.
“Then I did it to Leo.”
“Yes.”
No excuses.
Chad looked toward Sebastian.
“I’m going tomorrow.”
“No,” Helena said.
He ignored her.
“Rocco used me.”
Sebastian nodded.
“I want to see him.”
“For revenge?”
“Yes.”
Sebastian looked at Leo’s toy wolf on the table.
“Then you’re not ready.”
Chad laughed bitterly.
“You think you are?”
“No.”
That answer silenced him.
May you like
Sebastian stood.
“But I’m going anyway.”
