Chapter 3
Celina told me my mother had lost weight because she was getting old.
I remembered that conversation.
Two months earlier.
Teresa looked thinner at Sunday dinner.
I asked.
Celina answered before she could.
“She barely eats anymore.”
Teresa had smiled.
I believed it.
Now I understood the smile.
Fear often resembles politeness when everyone in the room expects politeness.
I sat beside her.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
Her eyes moved toward my study door.
“You were busy.”
“That has never stopped you before.”
She gave me a sad look.
“No.”
It had not.
My mother had interrupted meetings since I was twenty-one.
Walked into rooms full of capos carrying coffee and opinions nobody requested.
Something had changed.
“What did she threaten?”
Celina laughed.
“There it is. Now everything is a threat.”
Teresa looked at me.
“The twins.”
Of course.
“What exactly?”
My mother swallowed.
“She said if I told you, she would send Ivy and Owen to her sister for a while.”
I looked at Celina.
“They are my children.”
“I would never have done it.”
Teresa flinched.
I caught it.
Celina continued.
“I was frustrated.”
I leaned back.
“You told a grandmother you could take away her grandchildren.”
“She knew I couldn’t.”
“No.”
I shook my head.
“She knew you were their mother.”
That gave the threat weight.
Celina folded her arms.
“You travel. You disappear into meetings. I run this house.”
There it was.
Not apology.
Claim.
“I run this house.”
I almost smiled.
“You live in it.”
Her face changed.
Important distinction.
Then Ivy spoke quietly.
“Mommy says Daddy doesn’t want crying near his office.”
I looked down.
“What?”
Owen nodded.
“She says you get angry.”
Teresa closed her eyes.
I stared at Celina.
Another wall.
She had not only frightened them with losing one another.
She had used me.
“What did you tell them?”
Celina said nothing.
I crouched beside Ivy.
“What did Mommy say happens if you come to my study?”
Ivy’s lip trembled.
“You send us away.”
I felt something break inside me.
May you like
My children had been starving fifteen feet from my door.
And they thought knocking would cost them their home.
