Chapter 5
Nell knew about the greenhouse because Clara told her.
Not immediately.
Children test adults.
First Clara said she hated dessert.
Strange.
She loved sugar.
Then she cried whenever anyone touched the silver bell.
Then one night she asked Nell:
“If I say Aunt Rosalind is Mommy, does Mommy get sad in heaven?”
That was when Nell understood something was wrong.
She followed the staff member who collected Clara after the next bell.
Saw the greenhouse.
Heard Everett coaching her.
Nell interrupted.
Everett threatened her job.
She came back the next time anyway.
Then Sebastian changed the instruction.
If Nell interfered, she would be dismissed before the wedding.
Clara would lose the only woman who still kept Evelyn’s old bedtime songs.
Control through attachment.
Again.
I asked Nell:
“Why not tell me?”
She looked ashamed.
“Because Miss Clara begged me not to.”
My chest tightened.
“Why?”
“They told her if you found out, you’d cancel the wedding and everyone would blame her.”
There.
Perfect.
Make the child responsible for adult consequences.
She kept quiet to protect me from losing Rosalind.
Protect Rosalind from losing the wedding.
Protect Nell from losing her job.
Protect everyone.
Except herself.
I sat beside Clara that night.
She would not look at the bell sitting on my dresser.
I had brought it up intentionally.
Not to frighten her.
To remove the object from secrecy.
“Did anyone tell you the wedding depended on your answers?”
She nodded.
“Did you believe them?”
Another nod.
“Sweetheart.”
She finally looked at me.
“If there is no wedding, whose fault is it?”
Her eyes filled.
“Mine?”
“No.”
Immediate.
“Mine?”
“No.”
“Rosalind?”
I thought.
“Adults made choices.”
She frowned.
That was enough for four.
Then:
“Can Nell stay?”
“Yes.”
“What if I never call Rosalind Mommy?”
“You never have to.”
Her face changed.
Relief.
Then she whispered:
“I know who waits there after Mr. Everett leaves.”
I went still.
“There’s someone else?”
Clara nodded.
May you like
“Grandma.”
My mother had been dead twelve years.
