Chapter 15 - HELENA MEETS SOPHIE AGAIN
Sophie was six when she agreed to see Helena.
The first letter had waited two years.
Dr. Ames read it with her.
Helena wrote:
I told you your father was dead. That was not true.
Good.
Then:
I was angry with your mother and afraid your father would discover something I had done with money.
Specific.
Then:
You did not cause any of it.
Good.
Then:
You do not have to see me.
Very good.
Sophie asked:
“Why did she lie about Daddy?”
I answered:
“Because she thought if you stopped asking, adults could keep a secret longer.”
“Did it work?”
“For a while.”
“Not forever.”
“No.”
Then Sophie agreed to a supervised meeting.
Helena entered wearing no pearls.
I noticed.
Probably deliberate.
Sophie did not.
Children rarely care about the symbols adults spend lifetimes polishing.
“Hello, Sophie.”
“Hi.”
Helena sat.
No reaching.
Then Sophie asked:
“Are you my grandma?”
“Yes.”
“Did you steal money?”
Helena looked toward the therapist.
Then back.
“I used money your father meant for you and your mother in a way I had no right to.”
Better than simplifying.
“Did you buy stuff?”
“No.”
“What?”
“I used it to help keep a hotel from losing a loan.”
Sophie frowned.
“Why?”
“Because I cared too much about keeping control of the hotel.”
“Was hotel hungry?”
I nearly laughed.
Helena did too.
“No.”
“Then why money?”
Adult finance defeated by six-year-old logic.
Helena answered:
“Because I made a bad decision.”
Then Sophie asked:
“Did Daddy die?”
“No.”
“You said.”
“I lied.”
Sophie stared at her.
Then:
“Okay.”
Not forgiveness.
Acknowledgment.
The meeting lasted twenty minutes.
At the end Helena asked:
“May I hug you?”
Sophie said:
“No.”
Helena nodded.
May you like
“Okay.”
That okay was probably the most difficult word my mother learned in her seventies.
