Chapter 24 - Vanessa’s apology
Vanessa requested permission to send Noah a letter after completing the custodial portion of her sentence.
I refused.
Too soon.
Eight months later she asked again.
His therapist said:
“Let Noah decide whether he wants an apology, not contact.”
I explained simply.
“Vanessa wrote something.”
Noah was seven by then.
“Do I have to?”
“No.”
“Is she coming?”
“No.”
“Read.”
I read first.
Noah,
I put you inside the old dog cage.
There.
I did it more than once.
There.
I called it a reset because that word made it sound better to me.
There.
I knew your dad did not know.
There.
Then:
I tried to take Otis because I believed your mother had hidden information inside him that would expose choices I made years ago.
There.
I cut the seam.
There.
You were right to try to protect something that mattered to you.
Good.
Then:
You did not cause my marriage to your dad to end.
Good.
You did not make me angry by loving your mother.
There.
The sentence I appreciated most:
I treated your grief like competition.
There.
Finally:
I am sorry.
No demand.
No:
Please forgive me.
No:
I miss you.
We gave the letter to Noah.
He read some with help.
Then asked:
“Can I draw?”
“On it?”
“Yes.”
“Your letter.”
He drew a dog beside Vanessa’s signature.
Then said:
“She’s not dog.”
“No.”
“Dogs nice.”
Fair.
He put the letter in a drawer.
May you like
Months later it was gone.
I never asked.
