Chapter 15 - Ethan’s mother
Claire’s contact with Ethan became the next difficult issue.
Child services did not seek to terminate her parental rights.
Her conduct toward Nora was serious.
Her request that Ethan keep a secret was also serious.
But she had no history of physically harming Ethan.
No substance problem.
No pattern of neglect.
Initial visits were supervised while assessment occurred.
Ethan missed her.
That fact made me angry at first.
Then ashamed of my anger.
He was allowed to miss his mother.
At the first supervised visit, Claire cried.
The supervisor redirected.
“Keep the focus on Ethan.”
Claire wiped her face.
Good.
Ethan asked:
“Why did you put Nora in the room?”
Claire said:
“I was scared and made a very bad choice.”
“Of Dad?”
“No.”
That answer mattered.
“What scared?”
“Something I should have told Dad a long time ago.”
“Did you hate Nora?”
“No.”
“Then why?”
Claire paused.
“Because I cared more about keeping a secret than about how scared she was.”
There.
Accurate.
Ethan stared.
“Secrets are bad?”
“No.”
The supervisor allowed Claire to clarify.
“Some secrets are fun. Birthday surprises. Private things. But an adult should never ask you to keep a secret about someone being hurt, trapped, or unsafe.”
Ethan nodded.
“Like wall.”
“Yes.”
“Then I broke promise.”
Claire cried again.
“You did the right thing.”
May you like
That sentence helped him more than months of my reassurance.
The parent who gave the wrong instruction had to release him from it.
